Wednesday, January 2, 2013


The Holidays have come and gone and I'm still mostly in one piece. They went as well as I could hope for with only a minor set back. Or a reoccurring set back would be more accurate. Trust is a funny thing. Those who want it usually don't deserve it and those that would like to do it, well, we're just fucked up.

Anyway, it's a new year once again, which means what? A time for change? Possibilities? Hope? A chance to re-write ourselves and our stories? Maybe.

I was all set to jump back into work mode today but felt the sudden urge to throw things away instead. So that's what I did. I know that my need for a clutter free, clean and organized outer world has absolutely nothing to do with my outer world. I don't care. It's one of those things I need to do. A sort of cleansing ritual that helps to clear my head and all the nasty little demons inside it. It feels good and I need to feel good sometimes.

Anxiety wise, I'm about the same as before. I can go places without too much worry, although I do have to still consider where I'm going and if celexa alone will do the trick. I'm getting pretty good at it. My life, however, doesn't always allow for the same type of planning as errands do. Occasionally I'm thrown a curve ball and I have yet to find a pill that helps me deal with that. I guess that is where coping skills would come in handy. I'm putting those on my "to get" list.

As for resolutions...who the hell knows. I mean, I know what I should do, but really, don't we all? This year I'm leaning more towards what I want instead. When I figure out what that is I will be sure to write an insightful and sarcastic blog about it. For now I'm sticking with a monthly theme. This month is out with the old. Every day I will throw shit away. With any luck, by the end of the month, my head will be clear enough to dive head first into February.

Hope, who wishes you all an Enthusiastic New Year.


  1. Back at ya. My resolution is to start smoking, start drinking, stop working out and gain lots of weight! Fuck it.

  2. That's Awesome! Good luck to you in reaching all your goals! I seriously just read a whole blog about "fuck it" being a spiritual release or some shit, and how we all should say it more. I think I agree. So... Fuck it, as well! Here's to 2013!