Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Day After.

After a long drive this morning and an even longer cry, I'm back to doing the only thing I've ever really known how to do to deal with my feelings.

If there's anything that will make an already Anxious Mama more anxious, it's the thought that her child might not be "okay".  Today is going to be one of those days that's hard to get through because everyone is gone and I'm left here alone with my own thoughts. But there's a difference between yesterday and today. Yesterday I was alone with everything. Today I know that there are so many people who are dealing with the same issues. People, I never even suspected.

After sharing my post about Jack, I was in shock at how many people "came out of the woodwork" to either share similiar experiences or offer support. Strangers and friends alike. It was almost overwhelming, and a bit scary, but at the same time I think I breathed a small sigh of relief. (If that makes any sense.)  I just want to thank everyone for, not only your offers of help and contact information, but for sharing your own experiences with your children or children you know. Coming from someone who's been living quietly with these thoughts for so long, it is an amazing  help to hear similiar stories and know that even though things are "different" they are still going to be okay. (I'm not sure I fully know that yet, but I will.) It's also been an amazing help to hear some of my own suspicions confirmed. It's been very difficult to have my legitimate concerns for my child blamed on my own Anxiety, when in the back of my mind, that little voice has been telling my otherwise. I feel as though now his father and I have a starting point. So thank you!

Although very little has changed since yesterday, in a way, it feels like everything has. Everything, except Jack. He's still the same loving, caring, funny, smart, creative, sensitive and truly unique little boy he's always been. My only hope now, is for us to find the loving, caring, funny, smart, creative, sensitive and unique tools we need to help him be the happiest he can be.

Hope, who feels like she's now seeing everything through different eyes.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes just blogging about our fears and anxieties brings some relief, there is something about sharing and bringing it out in the open that makes things less scary...we are never really alone in a suffering.