Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Impossible Questions.

I don't normally shy away from answering questions. If it's about facts, something I know, or something I have experience in I can answer freely. Jack asks me a million questions a day, it seems, and I answer to the best of my ability. If I don't know the answer, I suggest we look it up. The why questions can be the most annoying, but even then, I do my best to be patient and answer, because I distinctly remember asking why as  a child simply because I really wanted to know. I needed to know why something was or wasn't. That was how I learned. The "because I said so" answer, would anger me, because it gave me nothing concrete. I learned nothing and I couldn't move on.

The impossible questions, however, are the questions that people ask one another every day. The seemingly simple questions, that really only require a quick nod and a lie in response. These are the questions that stump me and send my brain into overdrive. My BF just sent a text and  he asked, "How are you?"  I stared at it for at least 10 minutes trying to figure out how to answer it. He will ask this a lot...a text of how is your day?  I always struggle with it, but normally I can text back with that quick nod and a lie. "It's fine." "Okay, how's yours?"  etc..

"How is your day?" A question that is asked continuously by friends, coworkers, strangers, store clerks, and family. This question paralyzes me. First of all, do you really want to know? Am I supposed to actually tell you how my day is going or is it just the lie you want? The quick one or two word version that doesn't even remotely resemble how my day is going. This could seem like over analyzing but I assure you it's not. I remember how angry I was when I first realised that people don't really want an honest answer. I was still a kid but thought, then why ask??  What's the point of that?  Naive? Maybe I was. But in my defense I don't ask any questions that I don't want an answer to. Ever. Small Talk. Exchanging niceties?  That's what it is. I'm adult, I know that now, so it no longer makes me angry, but I still think it's pointless. To make an exchange, basically, a verbal exchange, but actually end up exchanging nothing at all.  The clerk says "How are you?" I say "Fine, how are you?"  They say. "Fine." ...blah, blah, blah...all the while I'm staring at something, anything, other than them... and, voila! all is well with the world. Verbal exchange of absolutely nothing...COMPLETE!  As uncomfortable as it makes me, I know the drill. With strangers at least.

Now, when someone in my life asks the Impossible Question it's a little more difficult for me. Sometimes I think they really might want to know the honest answer, especially if I haven't seen or talked to them in a while. This, we like to refer to as "catching up". Normally these type of things are planned so I can pretty much have my script of information all prepared on "how I am."  If I happen to bump into to someone, say at the grocery store or something, and they say, "Hey Hope, how are you?"  I will, undoubtedly, not answer and blurt something out like. "Wow, you have a lot of kids!"  (True story, by the way, just happened the other day)

But back to my BF's question...he sees me every day and asks me every day, chances are he isn't all that interested in knowing that I felt "off" all day... and just had another panic attack... so I took an Ativan. Right? That would be my guess, anyway, an educated guess backed up with a lot of personal data. He's just looking for the..."My day is okay."  Very generic. Very little information. Nothing too personal. No one has to give a shit about anything. Especially, how my day is going. PHEW...Dodged that bullet.

Seriously, though. Small talk, just ain't my thang.  I'd rather gossip, because at least then there is an exchange of information. I've been saying repeatedly lately that I really need to know exactly what someone thinks or feels because I'm sucking at guessing. Maybe I can notify all who know me to be more specific?  There could be a code or something. Like if you're just doing the small, (I don't really give a shit,) talk...we could say "How are you?"  and then if you're really interested in knowing anything we could have a different code, like..."How the FUCK are you?"  or something....


That could work.

Hope, who has also come to hate the question..."So...what do you do for fun?"  Uhh.....

1 comment:

  1. Try this response next time.. Same Shit Different Day!