Wednesday, November 7, 2012

To be or do or go...or not to be or do or go

Yesterday was election day. For me that basically amounted to voting against what I didn't want, rather than voting for what I did.  That may be true for the majority. I don't really know, but it appears as though the people are able to accept a shit economy for another four years easier than they are able to accept their personal rights (some of which they already have) being threatened.

I guess you could say it sucks making decisions that way, but the more I thought about it, the more it started to make some sense. I mean, we can't base all our decisions on what we want because sometimes we don't know what we want.  Or sometimes what we want simply isn't available to us. In the end, a decision still has to be made. Most of the time. Occasionally doing nothing can be the right option as well. If, you know, you have time to just sit on it. But who has time for that?

In my own life, decision making is often clouded or influenced by so many more things than my own personal desires. I guess that's normal. I make decisions based on what's needed, or time constraints, or my anxiety, or other peoples needs, lives, schedules. I rarely get the luxury of indulging my own wants and needs and what tends to happen is, I slowly start forgetting what those wants and needs are. If by chance I'm given a few hours to myself with no demands and I can choose how I want to spend that time...I usually find myself just sitting there, not knowing what to do and at the same time feeling guilty that I'm not doing something.

Perhaps by process of elimination I can take fuller advantage of those times. If I start making more decision based on what I don't want. In other words...weed out the people, places, things, or activities that give me zero to no pleasure.  In reading that over, it sounds kind of drastic. Maybe it is, but just contemplating it is making me smile on the inside. That has to mean something. I know I can't give up doing laundry forever but I can certainly not do it so much. And I know I can't live in a bubble away from the rest of Idiocracy (aka "the world"), but I can make better choices about who I spend my time with and make sure I'm truly enjoying that time. I can stop trying to fit my square peg into that round hole.  By eliminating the don't wants and by realizing where I don't belong, I give myself more space and options, and hopefully more opportunities to figure out where it is I do belong.

More Baby Steps.

Hope, who suddenly feels a little bit lighter.

1 comment:

  1. So glad you're back! Funny, because someone was asking me if I still blog the other day. They asked what I write about and I told them it had really just turned into an online diary. And I thought, well if that's what keeps me going for now, so be it. :)